shattered

Sir Chris,

I am shattered because of you. Broken and hurt. But you see, I am not blaming you. Because it is also because of you that I am happy. I cannot comprehend the tit-a-tat of love. If this is love that I feel for you that is.

I feel complete with you in my life, and incomplete with you out of it. Very correct. Logical and sensible. But there is a flaw in that. It is transparent. That tautology of love is unhelpful, unwilling and insensitive.

I am shattered because of you not being in my life. Broken and hurt because you do not notice me at all. But you see, I blame myself because I choose to continue feeling for you. I cannot comprehend how love works in my life and how it makes you the one I want to spend my whole life with. Because this is love I feel for you.

I see you somewhere in the corridors and I feel that we belong. Very true. But emotional and sharp. My feeling is a flaw because you do not even know me. It is wrong. That line is a sword, which hurts, cuts and kills.

I am shattered because I love you. Emotional but happy. But you see, you make me feel emotional for we can never be; happy because I feel and care for you. I cannot understand the way your smile just completes my day but makes me cry all the way. Because love is crazy.

Sir Chris. I love you.

I do not ask you to love me back.

Because you never will.

~Cherry