it's so hard

Sir Chris,

Why is it so hard to let go of you? Right, as if I own you. I really want to forget you but I just can't. I could not. Even a simple memory of your smile I could not let go for I know that it would be one of my last.
I wish I could come up to you and tell you who you are to me, or just ask you to be my friend so that my longings would end. I did not know how my feelings for you came to be. But I want to tell you everything I feel, only I think that you would be too busy for stuffs like these.
Sir Christopher Jay Robidillo, how I love you. What I am doing right now is mere whim, just a fancy. Because I really could not tell you directly. Then maybe a blog? Here it is. You, however, do not know this blog. But I do hope you could read it in the present when I am still in love with you.
Always wishing you well.
~Cherry

lantern parade

Sir Chris,

Yesterday was the Lantern Parade. But I couldn't get close to you. Sir Li was there too, but even he does not know me. I loved looking at you, and the bubbles behind you just stirred the affections I have for you. Do you not know that you are a very inspiring sight?

But sadly, I had to leave early. I had to leave you. But the happiness inside me will remain.

Always.

~Cherry

missing you badly

Sir Chris,

I had no reason to go to school but you, and that reason is not enough however to convince my mother to still go to school. And so I am stuck with myself--and thoughts of you. You made me crazy, you make me crazy. I missed you so badly that I cried just while thinking of your smile.

I miss you so much.

I really really do.

I do wonder if you wore black today. That seems to be your color. I love you more when you wear it. :-)

~Cherry

so what? i love you

Christopher Jay Robidillo. Ultimate fave ko na ata 'to. Prof ko siya ngayong summer sa Chem 31. Ang galing niya magturo, promise, nagmumukha pang mas mahirap yung Chem 14 namin dati kesa Chem 31. Be sure to focus your full attention to him kundi eh baka medyo mahirapan kang intindihin yung mga sinasabi niya. Ang galing pa niya manamit, sexy pa. Wehehehehe. Wheeeee!

Tama babymex! Si Sir Christopher Jay T. Robidillo ng Chem31 (summer 06-07)! The best! Hahah. Grabe. Every examination, kinukumpleto ko talaga ilagay yung name ni sir sa answer sheet sa sobrang paborito ko siya. Hahahah! Kulang na lang bumili na din ako ng mango juice sa Nutrilicious booth araw araw na gaya niya! Goodness! Lahat na ng caricatures na dinadrawing ko ay nagiging kamukha na ni sir! Joke! He's a Harry Potter fan din kasi (LIKE ME!) and after every end page (sa bottom part) of the exam papers, laging may quote from Albus Dumbledore which is very inspiring kahit sobrang na-drain na lahat ng enerhiya mo from the bloody exams that he gives. Heart his fashion sense. Looks good palagi. ---- Anyhoo, tama, magmumukhang mas mahirap pa ang Chem14 on a regular semester kay Sir Robi sa Chem31 namin. He's such a devoted professor and sobrang sipag niya mag-discuss. He's willing to have make-up classes with us pag alam niyang hindi enough yung discussions about a certain topic and laging yung welfare ng students ang inaalala niya. As in. Makikita mo talaga na yung goal niya ay matuto yung students. Gusto ko din ng sense of humor niya, sobrang friendly pa coz pag binati mo siya, papansinin ka niya talaga and makikipagkwentuhan pa! Grabe, dati akala ko eh si Sir yung tipo na suplado-type nung unang nag-substitute prof siya sa class. A major no-no pala ang description na yun. He knows his students by heart. well, siguro not really pero kabisado niya yung mga names namin and god, ang astig ng memory ni sir. Ang talino pa!!!! WHOOOOOOO!!!

Sir Chris,

Sad. That's how I feel. Oh why do I feel this way? Jealous over something I need not concern myself with. You see, Sir Chris, I am one of them. I admire you and adore you. That's loving you.

I am crazy for you. So what? I love you.

~Cherry

http://www.peyups.com/posts.khtml?mode=viewtopic&topic=28765&forum=10&start=105

black

Sir Chris,

Today, you wore black.

There's this girl, and there's this guy. And there's you. Too many people made me see you. Too many times I anticipated to see your face (and only your face) among the crowd. Too many people wore black today. Too many times I felt that I love you.

P.S. I love you so much.

~Cherry

why i do

Sir Chris,

Merry Christmas. I hope that I would be able to see this Christmas season, but I believe that that's the gift that I wouldn't be able to receive. Why is it so hard to just come up to you and tell you what I feel for you? You see, I really do not care what other people would say; what's hard is, I only care about you.

I cannot imagine myself going on living with the feeling that wants to burst out of my system.

But why I do is something I cannot explain.

Maybe it is because I love you. Maybe it is because I care. I feel you. Or maybe it is just enough for me to see you pass me by without a care. Not a part of you.

I guess that I am just contented to be a part of the world that you live in. I may not be--and will never be a part of your life--but I want you to know that why I continue to feel and love is because of you.

Why I do is because of you.

It is because I love you.

~Cherry

shattered

Sir Chris,

I am shattered because of you. Broken and hurt. But you see, I am not blaming you. Because it is also because of you that I am happy. I cannot comprehend the tit-a-tat of love. If this is love that I feel for you that is.

I feel complete with you in my life, and incomplete with you out of it. Very correct. Logical and sensible. But there is a flaw in that. It is transparent. That tautology of love is unhelpful, unwilling and insensitive.

I am shattered because of you not being in my life. Broken and hurt because you do not notice me at all. But you see, I blame myself because I choose to continue feeling for you. I cannot comprehend how love works in my life and how it makes you the one I want to spend my whole life with. Because this is love I feel for you.

I see you somewhere in the corridors and I feel that we belong. Very true. But emotional and sharp. My feeling is a flaw because you do not even know me. It is wrong. That line is a sword, which hurts, cuts and kills.

I am shattered because I love you. Emotional but happy. But you see, you make me feel emotional for we can never be; happy because I feel and care for you. I cannot understand the way your smile just completes my day but makes me cry all the way. Because love is crazy.

Sir Chris. I love you.

I do not ask you to love me back.

Because you never will.

~Cherry

"don't call me"

Don't call me is a sonnet I created for Christopher Jay Robidillo. Sure, the poem is not really good; it's pathetic even. But what the heck? It is for him, so here it is.

=)

C all my name, oh my angel in the night;

H ow your voice takes away all of my might.

R osy whispers... Oh, but my blood stains the light

I t hurts, I am weak, for you're but a sight.

S ir, break my heart for isn't it more right

T o kill a young love than to shoot it in flight?

O h break my heart for I still cry tonight

P lease call my name! Angel of the deathscythe!

H ow do I let go of this I hold tight,

E nd all my joys; end my insane delight,

R everse my heart so I end not contrite,

J ade all my dreams of you to black and white?

A ffairs of my heart I should end in spite,

Y es my first love's a love of no requite.

It has a sad tone.

Not really fanciful.

It's for you, Sir.

~Cherry

that's the way he makes me feel

Truly, this is the way he makes me feel.

This site is not about Christopher Jay Torres Robidillo, but this is for him. My feelings for him and how he makes me feel. Here's a first for him:

Sir Chris,

You make me feel that I still live in some Disney fairytale wherein there's a happy ending between you and me. I feel like a silly girl when you look into my eyes. My knees get weak, I fly unto pink clouds, ride the unicorns, swim with the mermaids, butterflies in my stomach and all of those fluffs. I believe that I am in love with you, but I don't really know with this heart of mine. It's confusing me--creating a havoc, an oblivion in me. But, isn't it the way fairytales go? Fluff then craziness?

Cherry

P.S. Sir, have you ever been in love?